Today’s laughs
How to restructure the CFC without entirely fleecing the membership!
JEWISH HUMOUR
Every time a new Pope is elected, there are many rituals in accordance with tradition.
Well, there is one tradition that very few people know about. Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi of Rome seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope’s presence, whereupon he presents the Pope with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled envelope. The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.
The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next Pope is elected.
A new Pope’s reign was shortly followed by a new Chief Rabbi. He was intrigued by this ritual, and that its origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing.
When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his presence, they faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but, as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave, His Holiness calls him back. “My brother,” the Pope whispers, “I must confess that we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries between us and you, the representative of the Jewish people. I have to ask you, what is it all about?”
The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies: “But we have no more idea than you do. The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions of ancient history.”
The Pope said: “Let us retire to my private chambers and enjoy a glass of kosher wine together; then with your agreement, we shall open the envelope and discover the secret at last.”
The Chief Rabbi agrees. Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the Chief Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper.
As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opens it. They both gasped with shock – It’s the caterer’s bill for the Last Supper…
Thx Dennis F
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LOST IN TRANSLATION….
but I hear it is finger lick’n good!………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The Vampire Bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get somesleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood & began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off & let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
“OK, follow me“, he said & flew out of the cave with hundreds of excited bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river & into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down & all the other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out in anticipation of a good feed of fresh blood..
“Do you see that large oak tree over there?” he asked.
“YES, YES, YES!!!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
“Good for you!” said the bat, “Because I didn’t.”
(Thx Barry!)
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Smoking can be hazardous….
Ooops!!
