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Today’s insight into the meaning of LIFE…

by kevinspraggettonchess · February 4, 2010

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

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HOW WIVES DEAL WITH CHESS, THRU HISTORY:

CONSERVATIVE APPROACH (Pushing home values)

LIBERAL APPROACH (Ethical compromise)

While is cat is away, the mice will play!

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MEN DON’T TAKE TO DIVORCE VERY WELL!

”You never really know a man until you have divorced him.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor

REAL STORIES OF MEN FIGHTING BACK:

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STORY 1

Man Wants Ex-Wife’s Breast Implants Declared “Assets” !!

Justices of the North Dakota Supreme Court appear to see family law going down a slippery slope if they accept a man’s novel theory that his former wife’s breast implants should be counted against her in their divorce.

Courts may consider anything classified as a “marital asset” in dividing property between a divorcing couple. Erik Isaacson of Mandan, N.D., has ventured into uncharted waters by requesting that his ex-wife Traci’s breast implants be declared a marital asset.

A Morton County District Court judge vehemently rejected the request, saying he couldn’t “imagine people would actually waste time thinking that breast implants are marital assets. It just defies common sense.”

Erik Isaacson’s attorney, Christina A. Sambor, argued in an appellate brief that “There is a legitimate question as to whether Traci’s cosmetic surgery, paid for during the marriage, but benefiting and remaining with Traci upon divorce, is an asset that should be counted in the distribution of the marital estate.”

But no precedent recognizes breast implants as a marital asset. And earlier this month, several North Dakota Supreme Court justices were skeptical about taking the law that far.

THE REST OF THE STORY CAN BE FOUND AT:

http://www.onpointnews.com/NEWS/Man-Wants-Ex-Wife-s-Breast-Implants-Listed-As-Assets.html

STORY2

A man , in the process of his divorce, wanted to claim the kidney that he ‘donated’ to his wife as a marriage asset!! Now that is very creative! He lost, but we have to give him 10 out of 10 for trying…

Husband Can’t Take Back Gift of Kidney to Wife

A New York surgeon who demanded that his wife pay him $1.5 million for the kidney he donated her cannot have the organ valued as a “marital asset” in their divorce case, a court referee has found.

“While the term ‘marital property’ is elastic and expansive … its reach, in this Court’s view, does not stretch into the ethers and embrace, in contravention of this State’s public policy, human tissues or organs,” Nassau County Supreme Court Referee A. Jeffrey Grob said in a Feb. 24 decision.

Dr. Richard Batista’s donation of a kidney saved his wife’s life in 2001 after she suffered renal failure. Dawnell Batista filed for divorce four years later, however, and the case turned into an international spectacle in January when he made the demand for renal compensation, alleging she had cheated on him and denied him access to their children.

The Batistas on their wedding day in 1990

It is illegal for an organ donor to seek “valuable consideration” for a donation –- as Grob noted in ruling that Dr. Batista could not call an expert witness to testify in the divorce trial about the value of his kidney.

“[T]he defendant’s effort to pursue and extract ‘monetary compensation’” for the kidney, Grob said, “not only runs afoul of the statutory proscription, but, conceivably, may expose the defendant to criminal prosecution.”

But Richard Batista’s attorney, Dominic Barbara, may still have accomplished what he set out to do by making a media circus out of the kidney issue. “I saved her life and then, to be betrayed like this, is unfathomable,” Batista said of his wife at a news conference Jan. 7.

New York is the only state in the nation that has not adopted no-fault divorce. Under its divorce law, a judge determining the “equitable disposition” of marital property has the discretion to consider anything “which the court shall expressly find just and proper.”

While the media ridiculed Richard Batista for wanting his kidney back, Barbara — who has called his client “godlike” — had his eye on the broader objective of building a “fault” case against Dawnell Batista. What could be worse, after all, than betraying the man who saved your life?

In his ruling, Grob made a comment related to the evidence he can consider in deciding the distribution of the Batistas’ marital property. Denying Richard Batista the value of his organ donation, he said,

does not suggest that the sacrifices, magnanimity and devotion, which arguably and logically attend, are beyond the pale or lack relevancy.

Citing that comment, Barbara described the ruling as a “complete victory” for his client — which may stretch credulity, but makes sense in the context of such a nasty, fault-based divorce.

Dawnell Batista, also playing the fault game, has portrayed her husband as less than a model of marital “magnanimity.” According to her attorney, he suffers from “hyper-suspicion” of her and was so consumed with jealousy that he rummaged through her underwear drawer for evidence she was cheating.

“She has never been unfaithful, and she has never denied visitation,” Douglas R. Rothkopf said in court last month.

By Matthew Heller

2/28/09

http://www.onpointnews.com/NEWS/Husband-Can-t-Take-Back-Gift-of-Kidney-to-Wife.html

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STORY 3

Here a man, Andrew Crassati, was divorced and ordered to pay 2,000 dollars a month in alimony. Just his luck when his wife was sentenced to 9 years in prison for DUI. He sued for cessation of alimony… because his wife was now co-habiting with another person (her cell-mate!). He won!!

Having Cellmate Means Woman Loses Alimony !!

By Mathew Heller

In a very literal reading of a divorce agreement, a Florida appeals court has ruled that a woman can no longer receive alimony from her ex-husband because of her “co-habitation” with another person in a prison cell.

When Andrew and Patricia Craissati divorced in 2001, they agreed that any alimony payments to her would end “upon the death of either party, remarriage, or cohabitation with another person other than the parties’ child” for three consecutive months or more.

In prison for DUI

Patricia Craissati, who had been receiving $2,000 a month from her ex-husband, is now serving nine years in prison on charges relating to a DUI -– and a 2-1 majority of the 4th District Court of Appeal ruled earlier this month that alimony should be terminated because she is sharing a cell with another inmate.

“Because Wife has agreed that her living with a cellmate amounts to cohabitation as that term is defined in the settlement agreement, and because driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol is a voluntary act which is known to possibly result in incarceration, we cannot say that on these facts such an interpretation of the agreement leads to an absurd result,” Judge Mary Barzee Flores wrote.

Co-habitation?!

The ruling reversed a trial court judge who had denied Andrew Craissati’s petition for modification of alimony, citing the absurdity of “constru[ing] the term ‘another person’ … to include a ‘prison inmate.’” Under an ancient legal principle, a term in a contract is not to be construed in a manner that leads to an absurd result.

In a dissent, Judge Larry A. Klein rejected the majority’s view that “the wife should have anticipated that her voluntary act of driving under the influence could have landed her in this position when she signed the agreement.”

“That reasoning,” he explained, “does not support the result because it is not the incarceration which constitutes cohabitation. It is the mere happenstance that she must share her jail cell with another person, which is the sole factor which makes this cohabitation.”

Klein also agreed with Patricia Craissati that “cohabitation” could be construed, under the majority’s reading, to terminate alimony ifmshe was kidnapped and required to live with her captor, or was long-term hospitalized in a semi-private room [with] another patient or [was] in the armed forces and had a female serviceperson as a roommate, all for a period of 3 consecutive months or more …

Some online commenters have said it would be absurd for Patricia Craissati to keep receiving alimony while the state is supporting her. But incarceration in and of itself does not void an alimony order -– as a New Jersey appeals court recently demonstrated in awarding spousal support to a woman serving time for killing her ex-husband’s child. Calbi v. Calbi, 935 A.2d 796 (2007).

Patricia Craissati’s lawyer plans to seek a rehearing before the appeals court. “It goes to show the most winnable case is losable and the most losable case is winnable,” Steven Cripps said.

http://www.onpointnews.com/NEWS/having-cellmate-means-woman-loses-alimony.html

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52 WORSE PLACES TO FART

(Thx Harry Leeds)

Let’s be perfectly clear on this: just because we label something a bad place to fart doesn’t mean we discourage you in any way from farting there as frequently as possible.

1. In Santa’s lap.

2. At the gym, in a row of treadmills (nobody can run away!)

3. During takeoff of a lunar space mission (you’re stuck with these guys for months).

4. In American Apparel pants (so tight, the fart will get stuck like a bubble).

5. At a job interview (when they ask for your strongest skills).

4. At the Gyno.

5. On your grandmother’s face.

6. On your grandmother’s grave.

7. In a canoe with a rusty bottom (it’s likely to sink).

8. While having sex with your dream girl for the first time.

9. While having sex with your dream girl for the last time.

10. When your wife asks you if she looks fat in her wedding dress.

11. When you have to take a shit.

12. In a rented car (if it’s wet, they may charge you, as long as you leave as much fart in the car as when you picked it up).

13. While bending over to shake hands with an angry midget.

14. In a hot tub just after the jets power down.

15. When you girlfriend demands to know why you love her, but you just can’t stop the bubbling in your ass.

16. In an elevator with Jerry Seinfeld (because he’ll write a “dirty” routine about it).

17. While meeting your biological parents for the first time.

18. When you’re a baby and your parents ask each other, “What’s he going to do when he grows up?”

19. In the ball pit at McDonald’s.

20. In a coffin, at your own wake.

21. In the spinning anti-gravity box at the carnival.

22. In the face of child with cancer who is also allergic to farts.

23. At the altar.

24. On the cat.

25. In the dog.

26. On the rabbi.

27. On stage, while pretending to be dead.

28. In the MRI tube.

29. On live TV (the Real World is appropriate).

30. During a white power rally.

31. During your video personals ad.

32. On Scarlett Johansson.

33. In the lunch line in prison.

34. During a test at school.

35. During a ransom video when you’re a terrorist’s hostage.

36. On your kids

37. Under the covers with your significant other (Dutch Oven).

38. While leaning over someone at a computer in order to help her.

39. At church, while your nephew is baptised (possible splinters).

40. Just as you’re being shoved into a jail cell and fall in the arms of an angry male prostitute.

41. In a crowded subway car.

42. When you’re human statue on the street.

43. Into somebody’s tuba.

44. Over the intercom at Walmart.

45. In the voting booth.

46. During a four-legged potato sack race.

47. Into a zip-top bag for later use as a self defense weapon.

48. During Yoga class.

49. When the stop you at customs for some questionable items, and you’re Arab.

50. At Auschwitz.

51. In the car by a garbage dump so you can’t roll down the windows.

52. In Chuck Norris’ face.

53. There’s never a bad place, or a bad time.

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THREE CASTAWAYS

A missionary, a doctor, and a lawyer are marooned on an island chain. They spy a small boat beached on the next island and realize their chances of getting home are much better if they can get to it. But the surrounding waters are shark infested.

“Since I’m in a much better position to help if either of you two are wounded”, says the doctor. “I should stay to last.”

“But I can’t even swim”, said the lawyer.

“Then God has called upon me to do this task”, says the missionary,”and so I will answer Him.”

However the missionary is not even halfway to the next island, when the water boils and turns red as he screams then disappears.

“I still think I should go last”, says the doctor says an hour later.

“But-I-Can’t-Swim!”, the lawyer says again emphatically.

Resigned to his fate, the doctor is the next to try, but once again,gets eaten before he is even halfway across.

The lawyer feels guilty he has lied about being a non-swimmer, but still can’t bring himself to make the attempt.

But an hour later, a surprising realization strikes him suddenly. Elated, he immediately dives into the water, and swims to the other island, without seeing even one shark.

Days later, the coast guard picks him up in his little boat. Suspicious, they grill him on his survival, and the deaths of his friends.

“What we don’t understand, is why the sharks ate your companions,- the good doctor, and the priest – but not harm you, a mere lawyer.”

Grinning ear to ear, the lawyer replied:

“Professional courtesy!”

Thx Ed!

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THE WILD SIDE OF CHESS : LUST, SEX AND PORNO!

Chess is a remarkable subculture! It has found it’s way into every facet of modern life: literature, art and even religion. Being around in the civilized world for several thousands of years, chess has proven that it is adaptable…

How adaptable, you may wonder? Well, just recently chess has become a theme for films in the world of pornography! There is now a porno film called ‘Fucking Chess Players’ !.

While this may seem like good news at first (for some)… the bad news is that it is a GAY film! But hey, at least it is a start….(!)…sometimes you just have to start at the bottom (no pun intended) and work your way up!

I don’t dare put the film cover-photo here!

You will have to go to the link below to see for yourself!

http://stream.guiltygroups.com/dispatcher/movieDetail?movieId=96427&theaterId=28911

Fucking Chess Players
Running time:103 minutos
Studio:Gordi Films
Director:Gordon
Tags:Big penises, Internacional Twink,Anal threesome
Stars:Milan Holy, Andy Bauer, Jarda Tomasek Jon Eric, Peter Kyck ,John Swiss, etc.

For those curious enough, there is also something for the lesbian: LESBIAN STRIP CHESS !

http://www.4realcash.com/affiliates/gallhit/1130725/2487/1/2/0

My god! I never knew this stuff existed before this week! The things that we keep learning about just how twisted the real world is! But I guess chess just has to keep up with the times…