Today’s insight into the meaning of LIFE…
SPRAGGETT ON CHESS
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(Note: that is not Mr. Mallon blowing on his tube; he is sucking it!)
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THE VON KIETZ REPORT WAS DELAYED NUMEROUS TIMES. HOW CAN WE BEST SUM UP CFC PRESIDENT ERIC VAN DUSEN ‘S REPLY TO COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS?
THE PUBLIC’S CONSLUSION:
SPRAGGETT ON CHESS
ON BEING OLD…
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs And make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes And you’re barefoot.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN….
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
‘OLD’ IS WHEN..
‘Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take any fiber today.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.
AND
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?
Thx Sandra!
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KODAK MOMENT
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Love Making Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses … to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes … in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL Off!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
8. Make all the noise you want … The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don ‘t even think about trying it twice.
Thx Sandra!
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W.T.F. ???
The morning after the night you don’t want to remember!
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NO COMMENT NECESSARY!
Ho ho ho!
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The World Cup interview that got censored!
Navara had just lost to Grischuk:
WHAT WAS NAVARA TRYING TO EXPRESS?
HINT !
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THE OCA FOR IDIOTS….
(basic survival guide)
SPONSORED BY :
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THE OCA CONSTITUTION:
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THE OCA LOGO:
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THE OCA SLOGAN:
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THE OCA SECRET-HANDSHAKE:
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BEFORE BEING ALLOWED TO SERVE ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF THE OCA, EACH MEMBER MUST FIRST ANSWER THE FOLLOWING SKILL-TESTING QUESTION:
”HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU SEE?”
OF COURSE, THE CORRECT ANSWER IS: ”WHAT MONEY?”
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WHAT’S THIS?
A meeting of the OCA!
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THE VON KIETZ REPORT:
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THE HAL BOND–BARRY THORVARDSSON RELATIONSHIP IN A NUTSHELL:
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CHRIS MALLON
THE GENIUS BEHIND THE VON KIETZ REPORT:
(Note: that is not Mr. Mallon blowing on his tube; he is sucking it!)
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THE VON KIETZ REPORT WAS DELAYED NUMEROUS TIMES. HOW CAN WE BEST SUM UP CFC PRESIDENT ERIC VAN DUSEN ‘S REPLY TO COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS?
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CHIEF INSPECTOR VON KIETZ ASKED ALL THE TOUGH QUESTIONS!
SUCH AS…
REPORT COVER:
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HOW DID THE GENERAL PUBLIC GREET THE VON KIETZ REPORT?:
WITH HOWLING AMUSEMENT
WITH REJECTION AND REPUGNANCE
WITH NAUSEA AND VOMITING
WITH SUSPICION
WITH ANGER
THE PUBLIC’S CONSLUSION:
