Thursday’s insight into the meaning of LIFE…
SPRAGGETT ON CHESS
”Success is a great deodorant. It takes away all your past smells.” Elizabeth Taylor
I admit I’m being paid well, but it’s no more than I deserve. After all, I’ve been screwed more times than a hooker .–Sean Connery
‘The demand that I make of my reader is that he should devote his whole Life to reading my works. James Joyce
”If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?”
Bette Midler
” The Welsh are all actors. It’s only the bad ones who become professional.” Richard Burton
” I am impelled, not to squeak like a grateful and apologetic mouse, but to roar like a lion out of pride in my profession.”– John Steinbeck
” Youthfulness is connected to the ability to see things new for the first time. So if your eyes still look at life with wonder, then you will seem young, even though you may not be chronologically young.”— Goldie Hawn
”There is no me. I do not exist. There used to be a me but I had it surgically removed.” Peter Sellers
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Here comes the Judge!
Judge: When did you first realize that you had been raped?Victim: When the cheque bounced a week later.
Penguin and his Princess
A good argument for shooting designers?
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We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off”, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women!
(Thx Ivan!)
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TIME UNDER THE BRIDGE…
BLADE RUNNER CHICK: Sean Young
Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman
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THE ONE AND ONLY PAUL NEWMAN
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JACK NICHOLSON: still loveable after all this time!
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GOLDIE HAWN!
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WARREN BEATTY: THE ETERNAL PLAYBOY
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DARYL HANNA : ANOTHER BLADE RUNNER CHICK!
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MICK JAGGER: FOREVER YOUNG
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It is not what you think! Each is really a vampire…honestly!
That is sooo… sad!
Bob Armstrong: one man universe!
AIRLINES IN THE FUTURE
”Is that the REAL Hal Bond??”
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FROM FAMOUS FILMS
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FIRST CAME THE ULTRA- STREAMLINED, ZERO RESISTANCE SWIM SUITS. NOW TECHNOLOGY IS READY TO LITERALLY SHAVE SECONDS OFF THE WORLD RECORDS IN DOWNHILL TOBOGGANING:
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MUST READING FOR RAINY NIGHTS
Nasty stuff! Worse than men!
Looks like a real winner!
How does oversex kill, exactly?
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Necessity is the mother of invention…
What will they think of next?
Wow!
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What does this woman think of hunting animals for fur?
But wait: do you really need to know?
In winning teams, you don’t need to ask your teammates for a hand. It is already there.
Coincidence?
The wrong side of town, ofcourse!
Wow! No spokes…
SPRAGGETT ON CHESS