Happy New Year and other BULL SHIT traditions!
FIDE unveils Cheat-Proof Online Chess Variant!
BREAKING NEWS! It is called Dvorkovich Chess, after the current FIDE president who had long promised the chess community that FIDE would soon find a way to eliminate cheating in chess. A lot like Fischer Random, except with fewer pieces. A LOT few pieces…
According to Professor Ken Regan – the anti-cheating FIDE guru , this variant eliminates 100% all cheating attempts to win the game by unfair and unsporting trickery.
With this new variant cheaters will find that no amount of computer assistance will give them an advantage over their opponents. Every game should end up in a draw! Professor Regan has worked out all of the statistical proof!
How does one win then if this variant is to be used in official Online competitions? Simple: you play 2 games at rapid time controls, followed by 2 games at blitz. Finally, you arrive at Armageddon: millions of fans will be going crazy in anticipation to see which player wins the toss for colours. The White pieces will be obliged to win, otherwise Black wins!
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