SPRAGGETT ON CHESS
Here it is! The CFC’s answer to Apple’s iPod. Meant to rescue the CFC from the edge of bankruptcy! Though pricey at just a shade under $7,000,the CFC will throw in a tube of vaseline for first time CFC members…the CFC will even make it tax deductible!
Vibrator Chess Set Makes You Want to Bop the Bishop!
A new sex toy designed by New York-based product consultancy Aruliden is the perfect gift for the horny, fabulously rich chess fanatic in your life.
It’s a chess set with pieces that double as vibrators, 32 in all, from round-tipped pawns to knights shaped like anal beads. Like any decent vibrator, they’re made of medical-grade silicone and ABS. Unlike any old vibrator, they’ve also got gold-plate detailing and could cause you to have inappropriate thoughts of Bobby Fischer. Produced for the chichi erotic shop Kiki de Montparnasse, the sets are being trotted out in late November, early December. The cost: 7 large. Yup, $7,000.
Obviously, with that kind of price tag they’re meant to be showcased, not stuffed in a top drawer (or anywhere else). As for the chess aspect: “Chess is something that works as the setting for a sex toy,” Aruliden cofounder Rinat Aruh tells us. “It’s a very sexy mind game.” (Hence the well-known stereotype of the priapic, hot-loined chess player and the raw sensuality of a chess club meeting. Ha: we kid, we kid! We totally remember that steamy chess scene with Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway in the original The Thomas Crown Affair.)
My favourite naughty designer
That brings us back to the market. The sex-shop biz is already plenty saturated, so to set itself apart, Kiki reckons it has to go completely over the top. “Kiki is such a special brand that they had to come up with a different business plan, “Aruh says. “They don’t want to be Philips. But they can’t be just like Jimmyjane.”
Are there lots of rich women who get off on fianchettoing their gold-plated bishops, so to speak? Aruh thinks so: “The people at Kiki told us, ‘If you can make it, we have the customers for it.’” She’s probably right — after all, Aruliden’s $4,700 ping-pong table for Puma is apparently selling well.