The last laugh…
SPRAGGETT ON CHESS
”He who laughs last, laughs best.”–Italian proverb
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LETHAL WEAPON?
This one won a Darwin Award in 1989. Direct from Melbourne, Australia, a 24-year-old black belt in Chinese Kung Fu, on receiving his 1st degree, was pumped up by his instructor with the brilliant knowledge that he could now overpower and kill a wild animal with his bare hands.
He immediately put the Lord his God to the test, as it were, by driving to the Melbourne zoo, sneaking in after dark and jumping into the lion exhibit. Not that the lions couldn’t have taken him one-on-one, but they saw no need to fight fair. All the police and zookeepers found in the morning were his hands, clenched with red fur in them.
This qualifies as a crime, since it is illegal to trespass in a zoo after closing time, and besides this, the lions had to be retrained not to attack humans, as they now had a taste for human flesh.
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TIGER A HAS BEEN?
”Steve Spurrier ain’t got nothing on Rory McIlroy. The Ol’ Ball Coach has long been famed for his ability to get under the skin of his opponents with quotes that burn right off the bulletin board. But McIlroy took it to a whole new level this week when he indicated he’d love to go head-to-head with the still-No.-1 player in the world:
“I would love to face him. Unless his game rapidly improves … I think anyone in the European team would fancy their chances against him.” Mcllroy told the BBC”
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A LESBIAN FOOT-LICKING EXPERIENCE?
SPRAGGETT ON CHESS