SPRAGGETT ON CHESS
BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS!
Scruffy wins Ottosen Prize of $1,000 dollars for jumping thru a ring of fire while holding a torch!
PS: According to the conditions put forward by Mr. Ottosen, the prize could only be claimed if the dog did not need medical attention afterwards. Scruffy was the only dog of 25 entries to survive the ordeal (3 broke legs, 12 caught fire and became dog-torches, while the remaining 9 ran away before completing their run) The SPCA is currently investigating Mr. Ottosen for sadism..
”Thankyou, Mr. Ottosen.”