Just For Laughs, Potpourri and other Nonsense
THE U.N. SURVEY
The survey was a huge failure because of the following:
- In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
- In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
- In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
- In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
- In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
- In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
- In the U.S. they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
- And finally………………………In Canada, they hung up, because they couldn’t understand the Indian accent.(Thanks Win!)
Not Bored Enough?
Think of the Carlsen vs Caruana match!
THE INCIDENT ON THE GOLF COURSE
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!
“Help me dear,” she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. “I’m dying here and you’re putting?” “Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you.” ”Well, how long will it take for him to get here?” she asks feebly. “No time at all,” says her husband. “Everybody’s already agreed to let him play through.”
PAR FOR MURDER ?
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?” “Yes ” says the woman. “Did you hit him with that golf club?”” Yes, yes, I did.” The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
“How many times did you hit him?” “I don’t know, five, six, maybe seven times … just put me down for a five.”
Guns, Chess and the Champ
Beautiful photo by Sergey Tymoschuk